Evening.

The Best:

I put myself first all day long.

The Worst:

Now that I'm home and my husband isn't here, I'm fretting stupidly. I did my thing all day, so why should I expect him to be sitting here waiting for me with open arms?

Afternoon.

The Best:

I took care of me last night when my husband had a hissy fit about how the dogs wanted his attention. When he stomped off to bed, I didn't follow him and beg him to engage with me, and I didn't guess about what he wanted. I thought about what I wanted to do with my time, what would be self-soothing, and I did those things. I am really, really proud of last night, as I wouldn't have been able to have done that years ago.

The Worst:

I'm blowing off work. Blah.

Night, and Gratitude.

Computer issues kept me away and kept me from attempting to fulfill my re-newed commitment to my personal inventory. Sigh.

The Best:

I took good care of myself today...trying out a scooter that I might buy, resting, going to yoga...I had a good time with me! I also refused to lie for my husband.

The Worst:

I was grumpy with my husband this morning when he was reaching out to me.

Gratitude:

1. I'm grateful for the cool pink scooter that I tested today. Even if I don't buy it, testing it was fun!

2. I'm grateful for milkshakes in a balmy spring night with my husband.

3. I'm grateful for being able to make my mother laugh.

4. I'm grateful, so grateful, for finally feeling a bit more financially secure.

5. I'm grateful for my sore limbs from doing yoga, and I'm glad to be getting stronger.

Morning.

The Worst:

I was resentful when my husband asked for a ride to the clinic this morning.

The Best:

I told him that I'd give him a ride today, but that if he needed a ride in the future, he'd have to wait until I was already awake and that I wouldn't get up early for him. It feels good to compromise. We can both be happy.

Afternoon.

The Best:

I think I've finally, finally stood up to my husband enough about the car. I think he really isn't going to take it anymore. I told him I'm going to lock the keys up at night from now on.

The Worst:

I'm not being very present, anywhere, at all.

Morning.

The Best:

I'm trying to find a home for a puppy we found yesterday. I hope to do something really good by finding her a good home...make an animal and a person happy.

The Worst:

I'm kind of falling apart. I'm not taking very good care of myself lately. I need to get more sleep and eat better. Sometimes I forget that I'm a person, and I need caretaking, too.

Afternoon.

The Best:

I went and got my birth control pills. I can't imagine what about my life makes me think it's ok to get lazy about picking them up, but sometimes I forget until it's too late, like last month. Fortunately, last month was not exactly a highly erotic time at my house with the big relapse, so there was no danger...however, I need to take better care of myself.

The Worst:

I spoke with my husband's aunt, and I had a tone with her about my husband. She called because he was late in getting to her house, and she had a few questions about the veracity of what was going to happen today according to him. I am so frustrated with him right now, so it's hard to be kind when I'm speaking about him. I know that it is important not to come between people, and there are ways to tell her the truth about what is going on with him without increasing her displeasure with him.