Night.

Hi Karma Journal. It's been a while. I'm back to it, now.

The Best:

I helped some students out with their work. I rubbed my husband's legs. He's detoxing from methadone. I initiated a step study on the JW Club.

The Worst:

I played with the JW Club site at work. I can't get enough of it.

Gratitude:

1. I'm grateful that my husband hasn't been too crazy yet while detoxing. I'm grateful he's not so miserable.
2. I'm grateful for my dogs.
3. I'm grateful for my family, both of biology and of choice.
4. I'm grateful for my pretty cat.
5. I'm grateful for my orange juice.

Night/Morning, Gratitude.

I'm up in the middle of the night. I had a bad dream.

The Best:

I went to a step meeting, and I've been doing a good job at my new job.

The Worst:

I've let my husband manipulate me to get his way a few times in order to keep the peace.

Gratitude:

1. I'm grateful for my husband's warm hand on my back right now.
2. I'm grateful for the women in my family.
3. I'm grateful for my doggies.
4. My girlfriends are wonderful.
5. I'm grateful for the tools I've gotten in Nar-Anon.

Night.

The Best:

I'm protecting my boundaries in several instances.

The Worst:

I'm conflicted about some of my husband's actions, and I'm not sure what I should do. Instead of being decisive, I'm doing nothing. I also lied at one of my jobs to get out of teaching too many classes. It was a lie of omission, but a lie nonetheless. I needed to drop some coursework to take care of myself...but I was wimpy about it.

Gratitude:

1. I'm so, so grateful that my husband cleaned the house.
2. I'm grateful that the little dog is going to have a good home, somehow.
3. I'm grateful for my new job. It's interesting, fulfilling work.
4. I'm grateful for my wonderful family.
5. I'm grateful for my evening without too much work to do.

Night. Gratitude.

It's been days. I was away with no internet.

The Best:

I have been away having a good time in support of a friend. I took care of myself and was present for an important event for someone else.

The Worst:

I said something insensitive about a behavior I didn't like in someone who had been kind to me. I gossiped about an old acquaintance and was judgmental of her choices.

Gratitude:

1. I'm glad to be back home, and my husband welcomed me surprisingly warmly.

2. I'm grateful for my dogs' warm paws.

3. I'm grateful for my beautiful friends, old and new.

4. I met a friend I've only known online, and it was great.

5. I'm grateful for the time I'm learning to spend talking to God.

6. I'm grateful for the hospitality and kindness of strangers.

Morning.

The Best:

I've been doing good work at my new job and staying really focused. I hope my good efforts will come back to me with a full-time position.

The Worst:

I told a lie to my husband. I told him I only had a $5 bill when I knew I had a $20 bill.

Night. Gratitude.

The Best:

I have gotten myself well-prepared for class tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to teaching. I like being prepared.

The Worst:

I didn't get a lot of the things done that I wanted to do. I was kind of lazy and grumpy.

Gratitude:

1. I'm grateful for a good night's sleep in spite of being very upset yesterday.

2. I'm grateful for a good day with my husband.

3. I'm grateful for my family, who care about me and help me when bad things happen to me.

4. I'm grateful for my sponsor, who's called me a few times while I've been having a hard time.

5. I'm grateful that my husband doesn't seem to be fully relapsing, at least not yet.

Night. Gratitude.

The Best:

I spent a good day with my family.

The Worst:

I talked nastily about the boss who hurt my feelings with a co-worker. I shouldn't use bad words about someone even though she's hurt me.


Gratitude.

1. I'm grateful for my extra bedroom in my house.

2. I'm grateful for my friends who talk to me when times are hard.

3. I'm grateful for my cat and my dogs.

4. I'm grateful for the good food I ate today.

5. I'm grateful for my recovery. I'm not nearly so upset as I would have been before with all the things that are going on.

Gratitude. And Night.

The Best:

I stood up for myself when I heard some real bad news about my job, and I've handled it well today.

The Worst:

I told a lie to a family member. It was small and unimportant, but still a lie.

Gratitude.

1. I'm grateful for my family and friends.

2. Strawberries...I'm grateful for strawberries.

3. I'm grateful for the writing successes I've had lately.

4. I'm grateful for my beautiful, wonderful niece. She drove me nuts with her deep love for me today.

5. I'm grateful that my higher power is looking out for me in the strangest ways.

Night.

The Best:

I came to visit family. I'd been wanting to, and I'm glad I did.

The Worst:

I left work a little early, and I didn't tell anyone I was going to leave.

Afternoon.

The Best:

I spoke honestly with my husband about how addicty he's been lately and how I've been worried about him.

The Worst:

I got a little upset over my husband making a mess with dirt in the car I just cleaned up, and so I didn't kiss him goodbye before I left. I might be going out of town for the weekend, and so I wish I'd kissed him regardless of how he'd pissed me off.

Morning.

The Best:

I went to the doctor to get a sickness treated. I took care of myself.

The Worst:

I was not welcoming and open when my husband called me to tell me about a problem.

Night.

The Best:

I was honest in a situation at work that might not have worked out well for me; however, after I told the truth, it actually worked out much better than I could have expected. That's a good feeling.

The Worst:

I didn't answer the phone when a friend called who I've been avoiding even though I probably could have and should have. I've got to rectify that relationship soon or end it. It isn't fair for either of us to keep dragging it out.

Evening.

The Best:

I went to yoga this morning and got a good dose of inspiration for my day. I got a lot of work done at work as well as got everything prepared for my first day of class tomorrow.

The Worst:

I've done work at work that isn't related to work.

Night.

The Best:

I got so much done! My house and car are both so clean! I'm mostly done with laundry, and everything is awesome!

The Worst:

When my husband didn't have his methadone dose for today, I got very upset with him. I have lost compassion for his dopesickness, and I feel bad for being grumpy when he's not feeling good.

Evening.

The Best:

I went to look at a scooter today. I think I'm going to buy it. I'll be doing my part to help the environment, helping out my own finances, and taking care of myself by buying a cool, pretty toy that should be a lot of fun!

The Worst:

I took my husband to the grocery store even though I knew he'd steal. I should be firmer about not wanting to participate in his bad behavior, especially bad behavior that is likely to get him locked up.

Afternoon.

The Best:

I talked to a friend who was struggling, and I offered her compassion and support. I think I might have helped her through a rough time.

The Worst:

I was very lazy this morning and didn't get anything accomplished.

Afternoon.

The Best:

I spent another nice morning with my husband. I encouraged him to take care of some things without berating him, which is a fine line to toe for me.

The Worst:

I am at work, but I'm really eager to blow it off. Blah.

Night. Gratitude.

The Best:

I went to my meeting. I spoke honestly about my life. I helped myself, and I hope I might have helped somebody else, too.

The Worst:

I gossiped about my husband. It wasn't productive.

Gratitude.

1. I am grateful for the support I've found in Nar-Anon.

2. I am grateful for my full belly and the delicious meal we ate.

3. I am grateful for our good night together and our sweet morning.

4. I am grateful for yoga.

5. I am grateful for my sweet niece and her funny voice.

Night.

The Best:

I walked my doggy, and it was good for both of us. Also I bought myself a bottle of perfume that I've wanted for months. Taking care of me is nice.

The Worst:

I am really at a loss about a few things with my husband, and I'm not doing anything in a manner that feels like denial/avoidance. I am ready for a break from him, but I don' t know how to put a plan in action to make him go away.

Night. Gratitude.

The Best:

I taught a thorough, clear lesson this evening.

The Worst:

I was bossy with a friend when she called me with a problem.

Gratitude:

1. I am grateful that the battle that seemed inevitable between me and my husband was resolved rather reasonably.

2. I am grateful for the remarkable clarity I've had about my life in recent days. I'm wondering how I got so insane not to be able to see things so clearly.

3. I'm grateful to my students for making me laugh.

4. I'm grateful for my afternoon ride to get coffee. It was a beautiful day today with perfect weather.

5. I'm grateful for my wonderful, funny friends.